Love, Pain, and Heartache...Heartache, pain, and Love!!!

My idea of romantic love, during my school days, was quite different from others.
The only romantic love I could relate to was that of hero worship for one of my seniors [a new one every year ;)].

When some of my friends were busy playing boyfriend and girlfriend, Mills and Boon came into my life. These unrealistic romantic novels made me search for only tall, dark, and handsome man, daydreaming about the all consuming love that the female protagonist go through, imagining myself to be her, going to exotic places, and being swept off my feet by that special someone... Mills and boon set the standard so high that I was no longer interested in school boys.

Most of my school mates found their life partner, started reproducing...And there I was, still stuck in that daydream, still searching...no one to call my own!

Then, someone came into my life...thought he's the one...would last forever...

Turns out, it was just a dream (or a nightmare!)...that someone tore my dreams to shreds...leaving me bleeding with excruciating pain...to feel never again...destroying my world...

Amidst the gloom and darkness of my woe, a beam of light makes me blink my eye! Making me hope and feel again...not making me feel less scared, about my heart, my dreams, and my world...

Do I make myself fall? Leave my hopes and dreams at the hands of fate (and someone) once more?

Will this be the happy ending for me? Or some other ending...

Reflection!!!

It's been nearly 10 years since I left home. Many of my friends left before me. And many went back home before me...the reasons for their going back, I do not know and I never asked. Something made me go into an introspective mood today (otherwise I am a couch potato). I started thinking "why do people leave their home town?" Leave alone others, why did I? Was it or is it for a better education, better lifestyle, better everything? Has it become better or worse? In search of this better, have I become obscure? Did I achieve what I wanted to...I didn't and still don't know what is it that I want to achieve! Do I wish to go back? Deep in my heart, the answer is yes...but not yet! I feel almost everyone would wish to go back some day. Who wouldn't want to live in the safe haven of their palem and panthou! And when I do wish to go back, other than my family, what do I go back to? How's the situation there? If the situation is so bad, am I doing anything to change it? Do I have the initiative, the ability, the capability, and the courage to make that change? I guess not! Having said these empty words, my reflection dies and I go back to my mundane life...the mundane me!